I’m writing this from my bed.
My head is pounding, it hurts to swallow, and every time I get up, I feel so lightheaded that I think my whole body is going to switch off. My brain feels like a flickering lightbulb, something’s just not connected right.
This started Monday morning. After a night of no sleep, sleep paralysis and getting too hot then too cold, 6am came around and I had to drag myself to work.
I chugged down coffee, put my gym kit in my car and made the 30 mile trip down the M1 to work.
Assuming that I was suffering because of lack of sleep, I drank more coffee at work and tried to power through.
I’m one of those people that will not to give in to illness. I’m stubborn as a fuck. I might moan and whine about how shit I feel, but I WILL NOT GIVE IN, DAMMIT! I’M TOO BUSY AND IMPORTANT.
So there I was, just trying to keep my head down, ploughing away at work.
About an hour and half into my shift, it was like something inside me broke and I could no longer cope.
I felt sick and dizzy, which are the worst to combinations of things to feel. I didn’t want to leave the toilets incase I was sick, but I wanted to be sat down.
People were asking me if I had eaten, it should help, they say! The thought of it made me want to vomit.
I try to eat toast and it takes me about 45 minutes to finish two slices. Makes no difference.
About an hour later, I admitted defeat and went home sick.
I got into my car, drove home, looked longingly at my gym bag then got into bed, where I proceed to shiver for the next hour.
Two days later and I’m still not fit for exercise.
That’s 3 gym sessions missed and my interval treadmill session.
The frustration is.. frustrating.
I was doing so will with my half-marathon training, I was doing so well with running. I was getting faster, feeling stronger and now I feel like it’s the end of the world.
Oh, I know it’s not that bad. I’ve just missed a few days. It’s not going to make that much difference. But the anxiety over it is insane.
That’s me, in bed. Sick. Gym gear on. Dying to run run run but all I can do is lay the fuck down.
It’s horrible to feel like you can’t control your body, like you’re not able to do what you want to do. It’s horrible to be restricted, to feel like you’re weeks messed up.
I’ve been trying to justify working out in my head. I’ve been googling if I can work out if I’m ill. I’ve been doing light yoga to at least do something, but most of all, I’ve been driving myself crazy with the thought of NOT WORKING OUT.
I’m not the type of person that gets ill often. I hope it passes soon so I can get back on track.
How do you cope when illness gets in the way of your workout?
Hope you’ll feel better soon. xx
I train if I can. Only a knee injury made me unable to train for almost 2 months now (I’m so frustrated). But, if I have a cold and it’s not too bad, I’ll train… I know I shouldn’t, but I’m too obsessed to stop.
:(( I hope you feel better soon Hun! Honestly, I just listen to my body. I know they say that sweating can be good for you when your sick and you can “sweat out the sickness” some but for me it just depends on wha my body is telling me. If I’m all achy, have the chills, am coughing a lot, or having a hard time swallowing nothing will get me to the gym because all of those things make anything to do with working out miserable. Just do what is best for you because feeling better is most important – I definirtly understand the anxiety part of getting behind but as soon as you feel better you’ll bounch back because you have been putting so much work in!
I know exactly what you mean about this feeling! It’s so stressful feeling like you’re getting behind and undoing all your hard work. I’ve had a really painful hip when running quite a few times and forced myself to take a full week off, so I made sure I ate super healthily all week to ‘make up for it’, which isn’t right I know but it played tricks psychologically on me!
lily x
http://www.jolihouse.com
Yes, it sucks to be ill. I really hope you start to feel better soon but seriously, GIVE UP (I know, I know you won’t want to admit defeat) but if you keep pushing yourself to exercise you’ll only make yourself worse. Sometimes, we have to accept defeat and look after ourselves from the inside out to get back on track.
When had my pretty ill a while back I couldn’t do ANYTHING for two weeks and it killed me. For the first week I was convinced I’d be fine, I could exercise and it would HELP but it didn’t, it only hindered. I felt worse, I fell down, it wasn’t pleasant.
So I rested. drank plenty of water, slept more than I thought was possible, watched a lot of Netflix, ate fruit, and meditated. I was still doing something good for my body, and the rest really helped me to heal and get back on my feet.
Heal first, then run!
Sarah 🙂
Saloca in Wonderland