I’m writing this from my bed.
My head is pounding, it hurts to swallow, and every time I get up, I feel so lightheaded that I think my whole body is going to switch off. My brain feels like a flickering lightbulb, something’s just not connected right.
This started Monday morning. After a night of no sleep, sleep paralysis and getting too hot then too cold, 6am came around and I had to drag myself to work.
I chugged down coffee, put my gym kit in my car and made the 30 mile trip down the M1 to work.
Assuming that I was suffering because of lack of sleep, I drank more coffee at work and tried to power through.
I’m one of those people that will not to give in to illness. I’m stubborn as a fuck. I might moan and whine about how shit I feel, but I WILL NOT GIVE IN, DAMMIT! I’M TOO BUSY AND IMPORTANT.
So there I was, just trying to keep my head down, ploughing away at work.
About an hour and half into my shift, it was like something inside me broke and I could no longer cope.
I felt sick and dizzy, which are the worst to combinations of things to feel. I didn’t want to leave the toilets incase I was sick, but I wanted to be sat down.
People were asking me if I had eaten, it should help, they say! The thought of it made me want to vomit.
I try to eat toast and it takes me about 45 minutes to finish two slices. Makes no difference.
About an hour later, I admitted defeat and went home sick.
I got into my car, drove home, looked longingly at my gym bag then got into bed, where I proceed to shiver for the next hour.
Two days later and I’m still not fit for exercise.
That’s 3 gym sessions missed and my interval treadmill session.
The frustration is.. frustrating.
I was doing so will with my half-marathon training, I was doing so well with running. I was getting faster, feeling stronger and now I feel like it’s the end of the world.
Oh, I know it’s not that bad. I’ve just missed a few days. It’s not going to make that much difference. But the anxiety over it is insane.
That’s me, in bed. Sick. Gym gear on. Dying to run run run but all I can do is lay the fuck down.
It’s horrible to feel like you can’t control your body, like you’re not able to do what you want to do. It’s horrible to be restricted, to feel like you’re weeks messed up.
I’ve been trying to justify working out in my head. I’ve been googling if I can work out if I’m ill. I’ve been doing light yoga to at least do something, but most of all, I’ve been driving myself crazy with the thought of NOT WORKING OUT.
I’m not the type of person that gets ill often. I hope it passes soon so I can get back on track.
How do you cope when illness gets in the way of your workout?